THE ROLE OF THE GOLDEN CHILD IN FAMILIES

 THE ROLE OF THE GOLDEN CHILD IN FAMILY SYSTEMS

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  In Narcissistic family, every member in/of it has a role that they 

play, with varying treatment, some having more or less value as

people as others. Some are seen to have more value than others.

THE GOLDEN CHILD

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  The Golden Child is the hero; the saint. They are the "favorite"

child of the Narcissist parent. Often, they receive special treatment

more gifts of monetary value, more affection, worth and praise

than any other child in the family. In the eyes of the Narcissistic

parent, the GOLDEN CHILD can do no wrong. The Golden Child

is often raised by a Narcissistic parent(s) who have a

predominately controlling or authoritarian style of parenting.

COMMON CHARACTERISTICS OF THE GOLDEN CHILD

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  1. FEAR: fear is a persisting emotion they experience. They 

experience a fear of failure in addition to disappointing the 

parent(s).

2.PEOPLE PLEASING: (huge red flag) The Golden Child is willing

to do ANYTHING to stay in their parent's "good graces"; at least 

superficially. This allows the Golden Child to make space to

"feel safe."

3. INABILITY TO ESTABLISH SENSE OF SELF: since they spend

so much of their time merely people pleasing, they are not

being authentic to their own needs, wants, desires. Rather,

they conform quickly to "get back in line." Due to this behavior,

the Golden Child develops no stable sense of self, nor identity.

Often, the effect most observed in the Golden Child is low

self-esteem and insecurity.

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WHAT HAPPENS IF THE GOLDEN CHILD EXPERIENCES FAILURE?

1. anxiety 

2. depression

3. self-sabotage

4. alcoholism/drug addiction

5. low self-esteem

6. co-dependency

7. narcissism 

8. no sense of self

WHAT HAPPENS TO THE GOLDEN CHILD AS THEY GROW UP?

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 1. Relationship/connection issues: an inability to form ANY

long-standing relationships nor friendships

2. The Golden Child, out of habit in family, will continually put

their needs and wants before those of others

4. sense of entitlement or being "special"

5. enmeshment /engulfment with the Narcissistic parent

6. relationships tend to be transactional and superficial

7. vengeful toward other siblings

8. Bc parents have elevated the golden child, they often have

very poor boundaries with others; little regard or understanding

or boundaries

9. others see them as selfish and self-centered

10. They are the Narcissistic parent's "chosen one"

11. Often continue to get more monetarily, and or affection wise

from Narcissistic parent.

12. Often the Golden Child and the Narcissist GANG UP on the family Scapegoat, or other family members

13. others see them as rude and obnoxious 

14. often have one-sided relationships; relationships that 

somehow benefits the needs of the Golden Child in terms of

what they can "gain" from engaging in certain relationships

verses it being a mutual-relationship where both people in a 

relationship are both giving and receiving.