QUALITY OR QUANTITY? A CRITICAL THINKING EXERCISE

December 03, 2023

 QUANITY OR QUANTITY? CRITICAL THINKING EXERCISE

     So the question was posed, in an intellectual discussion, about Shannon Daugherty being diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer that has moved to her bones..the question posed was "SHOULD

 SHANNON, WHO HASN'T RULED OUT DATING AT THIS TIME, SHOULD SHE? IS IT FAIR?" I pondered this for a couple of days, and my brain is proud to report to you the following: 

I can certainly understand the desire for humans to love humans to the end. I too can understand the want to not "embrace death alone." However, I feel firstly, if this is the case for Shannon, I hardly see anything wrong with it. I think it's quite normal. Yet, I concede, she should be honest, from the first date, about her diagnosis, what it means, her limitations, her boundaries, what she can offer, are all imperative things to lay out on the line to another person. Then, if they so chose, and feel like, even given the boundaries, limitations, and the inevitable "departure", if another person feels like their life, and their own current set of circumstances, ability/ to extend love with limitations and acceptance, then I cannot come up with a reason/method to even get to "why" or the need to question. To some degree, I don't think any of us would actually know how we might feel or behave, in either Shannon's shoes, or person(s) she chooses to date's shoes. I think, if we aren't careful here, confirmation bias, of many shapes and varieties , creep on. Is it unconventional? 1000%, yes. But, when two people want to get to know each other, be in each other's atmosphere, in a mutual beneficial way, with reciprocity, between the two,....those two people, the ones in the relationship, #1, you cannot fight it, #2 it can be, viewed through the eyes of unconventionality, as "healthy." Lastly, I think, in order for a relationship, like this, to thrive, there has to be ongoing updates, no secrets, and a commitment to the telling of reality without the pancreas shock of sugar coating things. In "this type" of relationship, I'd imagine, feelings, as with health, could be ever-changing. I feel to keep it healthy, once/when/if she finds a man, I feel Shannon has a higher degree of responsibility to transparency, and truth. I'm Romeo, at my core, the cliche "nice girl."Shannon's partner can embrace/agree to her honesty, that comes with sets of conditions and expectations, then why not. There is something beautiful in being there, holding the hand, of someone you care greatly for on earth, as the transcend this earth. I have had that experience, with my father, not a romantic partner, but, it's committed to my memory as a last peace/security offering that I could give him. Just the comfort of knowing, when he closed her eyes, I had his hand in mine. He knew I was ok, and would be ok. Hee knew then he could go. And I wanted whatever he wanted. A place where pain and cancer doesn't exist perhaps. It wouldn't scare me away from dating a woman in Shannon's position. My mother's death happened in a way that was not traumatic. Perhaps that is why my heart, and its empathy, are open-minded, to experiencing the many forms/fashions/expressions of love. And my father's death, while earth-shattering, in the pieces of myself that died when he did,

wasn't protracted and awful. He just got morphine, enough love to fill a continent, and he could close his eyes forever, I would regret not experiencing something amazing with someone, much morethan any chances, or rolls of the dice I didn't take.