THE DAMAGE DONE TO DAUGHTERS BY NARC. MOTHERS

 THE DAMAGE DONE TO DAUGHTERS BY NARC. MOTHERS

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   CHARACTERISTICS:

     Although a personality disorder involving narcissism is very

rare mental condition, growing up with a parent who behaves in 

such ways more often than we think. Mothers with narcissistic 

tendencies express certain qualities. The following are some

examples:

-lack of empathy

-self-centeredness

-verbal aggression

-lack of insight into how their behavior effects others

                                  they consistently:

-shame you

-are jealous of you

-compare you to your siblings and peers

-treat you as an extension of themselves

- become infuriated at any perceived slight

-gaslight/invalidate

-violate or push boundaries

-play favorites amongst siblings

-expect credit and praise for raising you

-regularly changes the subject back to self

-put you down in front of others to make themselves feel better

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IMPACTS/CHARACTERISTICS

 

 1. BELIEVING LOVE IS CONDITIONAL: this belief stems from

having a mother who only provides you with love when you 

do what she wants you to do. This causes emotional ups and

downs also known as "splitting." Splitting causes a person to

view everything in black or white terms/categories.

2. BELIEVING YOU MUST ABIDE BY RULES TO BELONG: leads

to the child sacrificing their own needs and beliefs to appease

parent(s). It's an environment where conformity is encouraged.

3. FEELING VALUED BASED ON HOW THEY ARE RECEIVED:

Narc. mothers are typically concerned with her daughter's

appearance and achievements and how they effect the mother.

4. ACCEPTING VERBAL ABUSE/MANIPULATION: causes daughters

to give up their own emotional needs for the happiness of the

mother. As a result, the daughter doesn't learn her authentic

self. The daughter might think she's only valued for what the

daughter offers others.

5. REGULARLY BLAMING SELF: If your mother blamed you for

problems as a child, you might naturally feel, as an adult,

that things are your fault too. This can lead to an unstable sense

of self or identity. This is a cycle that leads the daughter to

believe that nothing she can do is good enough.

6. BECOMING A PEOPLE PLEASER: Many daughters develop people

pleasing tendencies striving to satisfy their mother growing up.

A person tends to neglect their own needs so as not to "burden"

others.

7. AVOIDANCE OR CHASING LOVE LACKED: Neglect, abuse. and

emotional absence can make a person question whether or not

you are safe with others.This dynamic stems from insecure

attachments in childhood.

8. DESIRING CONSTANT VALIDATION: growing up in a family

feeling "unworthy" to one's mother can result in a need for

regular validation.